Nine ways we try to make ourselves safe:
If I can make myself and everything around me perfect...
If I can make other people love me and depend upon me...
If I can look successful in the eyes of others...
If I can be uniquely, expressively myself...
If I can understand the complexity of the world, from end to end...
If I can stay alert to all the dangers of the world and prepare for them...
If I can distract myself with pleasure...
If I can control and dominate others...
If I can not get angry and make sure nobody else ever gets angry with me...
... then I'll feel safe.
Which of these do you recognise in yourself?
And do any of them, really, work out?