Over the past four and a half years I have been writing, but not here. Writing in journals, writing courses to teach, and writing for and in response to the Turning Towards Life podcast that I have been hosting with my treasured friend and colleague Lizzie Winn.

So here is some new writing. Some words about grief, and about grief's intelligence, and what it might be here to teach us both when it arrives in full force and when we 'catch a glimpse of it' in the moments with those we most cherish and love.

The conversation Lizzie and I had about this piece is now available as an episode of our Turning Towards Life podcast, making the beginning of our 8th year of exploration. You can find the episode here.

What Grief Wants

I only want one thing.
I want you to pay attention.

I want you to look in her eyes, now,
While there is time, while there is
Still breath, while the magnolias unfold
Into flower, quietly, in the garden.

I want you to feel, all the way through,
What it is like as she looks back at you,
While she still can, while you are here to
Receive, to be seen.

I will be ready to hold you, flood you,
Carry you, when all the gazing is done.

I want you to receive your life,
While there is life to receive.
We will wail together about its loss
In good time.

But now is not the time for that.
It is not the time for turning away,
For trying to avoid anything,
For trying not to feel.

There will be a time when you have
No choice but to be turned away.
But that time is not now.

I want you to feel what it is like to
Release your desperate grasp around
What you could never hold onto anyway.
To delight in the living flow with its
Everyday beginning and its always endings.

I want you to feel the shining aliveness of
Everything you will lose
While it is still here.

Justin Wise

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash