Saying 'yes' to a request, where you mean 'no', might sometimes look like a way to build a relationship with the person who's asking.

Yes, I'll make that call for youYes, I'll come to that meetingYes, I'll join your committeeYes, I'll take on a heap of extra responsibility

But a yes that means no isn't really a yes, and so its power to build genuine relationship is much weaker than it seems. Before long your resentment and reluctance will show, as will all the times you subtly or overtly dodge the commitment you've made in order to attend to the things you really care about.A 'yes' that means 'no' doesn't build relationship because you can participate with at best a half-heart. And relationships founded on insincerity have little strength with which to sustain themselves over time.So practice yes's that mean 'yes', and clear, straightforward, honest and sincere no's that mean 'no'. Your whole-heartedness and sincerity will serve you both far better over the long-term than any attempt to manipulate the other person into liking you or respecting you.

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