There's power and magic in declaring a new interpretation of events.But declaring a new way of seeing things - a new way of making sense - is insufficient on its own. Because a change of thought is not automatically a change of habit. And it's through our habits and our practices that we bring about the world we inhabit.For example, declaring "I am now open to earning money", after years of underselling yourself, is a necessary first step. It opens up huge possibility. But that possibility comes into being not through the new thought alone. Rather, it's brought about because you take up the practices of asking, promising, and making offers of your goods or services that others find enrolling and compelling. And, of course, such practices - if they are new to you - will be tentative and clumsy at first. The hidden possibilities of the declaration become manifest only as you develop the embodied skill that makes its promise real.Similarly "I am now ready to be in a relationship". Yes, relationship becomes more possible upon making such a declaration. Here, however, you have to start practicing listening, understanding, kindness, responsiveness, compassion, creativity and love in order to fully bring out the possibilities inherent in what you've declared.So, please, work on shifting your interpretation of the world. But don't expect a change of mind to equal a change of circumstance. The universe is magical, but not in that simple, simplistic, wishful-thinking way.
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Waiting until you know for sure what's going to happen - where people are involved - means waiting for ever.With machines, it's easy. With sufficient understanding of mechanics you can often predict exactly what's going to happen. Cause and effect, straightforward to establish.But human situations are nothing like that, even though we pretend to ourselves that they might be.Take a meeting, for example.Should you speak up about what's on your mind? Now? Later? What effect will it have on your colleagues? On the decision to be made?You cannot know for sure.Whatever insight you have about the situation can only ever be partial. You can't know what's going on for others. You can't know what they are thinking of saying. And you can't know - even if you know them well - how they will respond to your speaking.You have to act knowing that you're speaking into an unknowable situation. And that speaking up will, in all likelihood, change something, at the very least for you.But staying quiet is an act too, changing things no less than speaking up. So you have no choice but to be an actor, whatever you do, and however much you pretend it is not the case.We get ourselves into trouble when we forget all of this. We imagine that we can only act when we are able to predict the outcomes of our actions. Or we blame and judge ourselves and others when things don't turn out the way we expected.And all the while we're holding back our contribution, our insight, our knowledge, our creativity, our unique perspective because we've set ourselves standards of understanding that were never - could never be - reached.
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It's a powerful move to discover that the truth of the world is not fixed, but shaped by interpretation.Was losing out on that project a curse, or a blessing? An example of life's unfairness, or a consequence of the endless, unavoidable change of things? Proof of your unworthiness, or opportunity to contribute afresh, discovering new skills and qualities? Cruel fate, or life calling you into a wider understanding?Different aspects of the situation come forward according to the interpretation you choose. Events take on many kinds of meaning, depending upon how they're framed.In other words, the truth of an event is malleable. Much more than you might often acknowledge.And even 'this is just the way it is' is an interpretation you're in the middle of choosing.
It may be hard to see, but every productive act we take in the outer world shapes us in the inner world.A better way of saying this might be that we are not separate from what we do. We're always being shaped by our actions, how we spend our time, what we pay attention to, who we speak with - and how, how we listen, what we make.In a world obsessed with outer productivity we rarely spend much time considering what kind of person we're becoming through how and what we're producing.Even if you have a narrow obsession with productivity this is important. Because, of course, the kind of person we each become profoundly shapes, in turn, what we end up producing in the world.
Work in the age of industrial revolution was founded on the principle that what we care about and are committed to need have no connection to what we do. The production lines invented by the great industrialists required only that we wished to make a living. We just had to show up and, ideally, set our cares and concerns aside so we could get to work.This works only as for long as we're willing to treat ourselves as the machines upon which this premise is based.It's stupendously difficult to do well anything that matters over a sustained period without caring about it deeply. It's equally difficult to do anything creative, responsive, alive, or which has depth beyond its surface appearance, without a strong sense of heartfelt commitment to the work. And it's a perilous endeavour to embark on a project without being in relationship with others who care about it too.But we forget this.So often, in modern organisations, we expect people to jump into action without addressing this essential matter of the heart. We begin new endeavours without taking the time to talk together about why it matters to us.We say "we're a team" without making any serious effort to find out what binds us.And then we wonder why it seems so hard.And why the wind seems to be sucked from our sails so quickly, and so often.
You're furious at her.The update was late, twice as long as you'd wanted, and not written for the audience you had in mind. And the meeting where you have to present it is first thing in the morning.You're not just furious. You're frustrated, and not a little bit scared about what's going to happen as a result of all this.And in your fury you've said some things you regret. Some things that fail to see her dedication, the hours she put in, the way she set aside her own concerns in order to help you. By not seeing her good intentions, and by being so sure of your rightness, you've left her feeling hurt and wounded and confused, and wondering if her commitment to your project was well placed.And, when you're brave enough slow down a little and start to look more closely... which is difficult, because looking honestly hurts you, too... you start to see what you've known from the moment you asked her to take this on. You weren't clear. You were in too much of a rush. You assumed she'd know what to do without checking it out with her ("that's what she's paid for after all"). You were afraid to show her that you didn't, really, quite know what to do yourself.When you look closely, you start to see that your anger - real as it is - is not so much anger at her, as it is anger with yourself.And this is the crucial revelation.Because you see that you projected your own shame and your own self-criticism towards her. And you see that this primarily played a self-protective role. By being angry at her, you did not have to feel your anger with yourself. Covering up your own vulnerability and uncertainty allowed you to shift the burden - and the blame - her way instead of yours.And it is this revelation - seeing what you were really up to - that allows you to take responsibility, and to make amends.
We humans are in-between beings, caught between known and unknown, past and future, the possible and the impossible.In this borderland it's tempting to try to be certain, to find enduring truths that we can rely on in all circumstances.But it doesn't take very much careful attention to see how lost we are and little we know, even when we know much: about what will happen, about the nature of the world, and about the nature of others. How little, if anything, there is that is certain, that we can absolutely rely upon.In such a world - and this is our world - we depend on interpretation in order to find our way. We have to choose, from the many possibilities available to us, how to understand the lives we live and the events we experience. And we have to learn how to discern between better and worse interpretations, because although many are possible not all are equally good. Some open up possibility, while others imprison us. Some bring forward human dignity and kindness, while others lead to resignation, resentment and cruelty. Some interpretations lead us to abdicate our responsibility, while others bring us into the orbit of care for life.And when we have chosen an interpretation, a way of making sense, we have to watch out for holding onto it too tightly. Because the moment we say our interpretation is the truth - that there really is only one way to see something - we close down life, and we shut the gates on a bigger kind of truth: one that is capable of including and responding to the very depth and complexity of the world that brings our lostness about.
On Sunday April 12th 9.30am-4.30pm, in London, there'll be an opportunity to learn with me and some of my friends and colleagues, and to find out about integral development coaching and the programmes we teach.We'll meet at 9.30am for a morning session on human development and, specifically, on the method we teach for skilfully supporting others in this. There'll be the opportunity to engage in conversation and ask questions, and to see a demonstration of coaching in action, as well as to find out about the many programmes we offer in this field.After a break for lunch we'll join together with graduates of our courses (who'll have been involved in their own session in the morning) to take up the topic of freedom. We’ll focus on cultivating the freedom that’s always available to us, and which can easily seem so distant as we encounter our habitual patterns, inner-criticism, busyness and distraction. You’ll have the opportunity to explore the constraints you (and your clients if you have them) experience, and to find powerful ways to declare, and take up, new freedom to act in life.It's going to be a wonderful day.