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Dear Friend During my training as an integral coach, I was asked to work with this question: What am I a stand for in the world?
I can see now how that question has grown in me, how the answer has changed over time, and how asking this question in my life continues to inform and evolve my actions and practices. And, right now, I find myself asking this question all over again: what am I a stand for here, now, in these times? The death of George Floyd (and Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery and countless others) has shaken the whole world awake. It has shaken me awake to my privilege, to my comfortable position (in which I am largely untouched by discrimination) and to the fact that, as a white woman, I have lived my life never having to face being called names due to the colour of my skin or religion. I have never had to be told how to behave in case the police came near me to avoid harm or unjust treatment. I have never been convinced I didn’t get a job because of any of those things. I’ve never had racist words, actions, or systems directed against me. This journey is deeply personal to me because my husband is mixed race. He has suffered the indignity and pain of these things. And our conversations have been unearthing memories that are heart-breaking for me to witness and imagine and I have been angry and sad as more and more stories from his childhood and his past have spilled out onto our kitchen table. And I am grateful that, while he has been sharing his experience with me, I have been able to be a space for him to bring everything, thanks to the inner and outer work I have been dedicated to for many years with the Thirdspace community. These practices in particular, I believe, have created safety and welcome. I believe they are qualities we really need right now as we move towards turning towards and finding our part in unpacking the injustices of our world – as we make a collective stand for justice. They are: committing to relaxing/lowering our defences, listening, staying present and welcoming (however uncomfortable that is), keeping on working to see our part in things, being open to seeing and working with our blind spots, placing relationship at the heart of everything, serving our world with open hearts, bodies and minds allowing ourselves to be changed, opened, moved.
We commit to addressing our own trauma in our practices and with families and friends. Through healing and difficult conversations, our bodies can truly face what arises in life without turning away. In our inner work we can all recommit to: seeing and working with our defence mechanisms deepening our listening practice allowing true conversation by first listening with a compassionate, open and curious heart.
With what’s unfolding in the world, our wish at Thirdspace is that we all face into it. We’re reading, asking for help, and opening to our part in how we’re contributing to racism in our world. We’re actively seeking conversation that will help us see clearly and act more appropriately. As a team and part of a community of Professional Coaching Course leaders across the world, we are making a stand: to move from being merely non-racist to being anti-racist. And this mantra feels true to me right now: I am sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you.
In this time of great change, we must turn towards the difficult issues. As we do, may our defences be more visible - to see our own part in this. May our bodies relax - so we can stay present to hear more of what’s uncomfortable. May our hearts be soft and open - so we can truly feel. May our minds be clearings for truth to be told and received. And then, may we act. To support us we’ve recently been reading: How To Be An Antiracist, by Ibram X. Kendi My Grandmother’s Hands, by Resmaa Menakem Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race, by Reni Eddo-Lodge Me and White Supremacy, by Layla F. Saad White Fragility, by Robin DiAngelo See No Stranger, by Valarie Kaur The Inner Work of Racial Justice, by Rhonda V. Magee
And here are some links to people we follow, whose message we’re grateful for: With love from us all,
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